Posted by: amazonadoptee | October 15, 2009

I’ve been enlisted to help…

My first father (who I think of as Father J in my mind) passed along my information to one of his co-workers, who gave her daughter up for adoption in 1986. She was 13.

Her heart is breaking now and she wants to find her daughter, and so Father J enlisted my help in making this possible.

Unfortunately, I feel as though it’s a bit of a needle-in-a-haystack adventure. I’ve worked with little information to go on, but a birthdate and the hospital isn’t much to really go on. And yet, I still want to try.

So I enlisted help with NAWSR, and have been combing through voter records and googling/myspacing/facebooking like crazy, and I’m frankly exhausted.

This isn’t my first time searching for someone else. Earlier this summer I searched for both my a-sister and a-brother and successfully found both of their families with little information to go on. With my a-bro, I only had the first names of his first parents, and some ages. I found his family, and with the help of a few special people located their new address and a blog my a-bro’s mom had written for her classroom.

Both of my a-siblings are happily in reunion, and a month ago my whole a-family got to meet my a-sister’s mom, as she came to visit for a brunch. It was such a happy reunion, and so fun to see where my sister gets her smile, her laugh, and her cankles πŸ™‚

So what did I think, that I was a miracle worker?

Sure I found my brother’s family with 2 first names, but can I really help this woman find her daughter with only a birthdate and a hospital?

Sigh.

I hate closed adoptions and the system I’m trying to navigate through. I hate that she can’t go down to the agency and update her information and have her daughter easily contact her, because the ways laws work here is that if the daughter tried to contact her mom, she’d have to write a letter, and the adoption agency would forward it on. There are no guarantees. There are CI’s and headaches and frankly it sucks. The system is keeping two grown adults from getting to know each other, or even the chance to know each other, or even the chance of wanting to get to know each other.

So if anyone knows a female adoptee born on 2/2/86 at Tacoma General Hospital…send her my way πŸ™‚

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